Tottenham Hotspur have announced plans for a celebratory open top bus parade around North London.
Mauricio Pochettino’s men are said to be immensely proud of ‘putting the pressure on’ in the title race and are absolutely, definitely, in no way whatsoever bothered about finishing the season without a trophy. Again.
Club spokesman Lee Satchell said: “We thought about doing the open top bus thing last season to celebrate finishing third in a two-horse race.
“But we decided against it in the end. This year though, we’ve got to do it.
“Staying second for all that time, within a measly ten points of Chelsea, that’s worth celebrating.
“Sure they may have actually won the league, and probably the FA Cup as well, but Dele Alli scored a lot of headers and tap-ins, so…
“We scored the most goals, conceded the fewest and lost the least amount of games… and still didn’t win the title. That’s seriously impressive.”
The proposed route will see the team weave through the streets of Haringey and Islington, taking several laps of Arsenal’s Emirates stadium in what the club are calling the ‘Death of St Totteringham’s Day’ portion of the tour.
Fans will get the chance to see their heroes as they bask in the glory of finishing as runners-up.
In other news the man responsible for maintaining Spurs’ trophy cabinet has been made redundant.
(Just in case anyone at the back hasn’t caught up yet, yes, this is just a joke)