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This is what football will definitely look like in 150 years’ time

Football has changed in an unrecognisable way in the last 20 years - but what will it look like in 150 years time?

1 Every game will kick off at 3am for the Chinese TV audience

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The game’s gone, lads.

2 Your half-time pint will be replaced with a delicious steak and kidney pill

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3 You’ll slag off BT Sport’s 18-man commentary panel

And Michael Owen’s great, great, great grandson will bore the s*** out of you.

4 New kits will come out every week

But you’ll still buy them all.

5 Players’ names are now sponsors, I’m afraid

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Lionel Pepsi, Cristiano McDonalds, Carpetright Cattermole.

6 Excuses will be a little different in the future

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7 And so will WAGs

Gaze into her unblinking metal eyes.

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8 You *really* won’t want to play in the SolarEuropa League

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Could Messi do it on a really, really, really cold night in Saturn?

9 But at least Premier League away days will be a little easier

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10 You won’t complain about foreigners faking injury any more

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“Those Martians go down easily.”

11 But at least you’ll still go to the games with your dad

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Even if it his just his head in a jar.

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