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STORY TIME: Nicky Butt once managed to burn Peter Schmeichel’s penis

“I burnt Peter Schmeichel’s penis and lived to tell the tale”

Imagine you were a young apprentice footballer in a dressing room full of seasoned, hard-as-nails pros. Whose penis would you definitely avoid burning with a scalding hot teaspoon?

This one, that’s who.

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But incredibly, that’s exactly what the part-owner of Salford City and current Head of Coaching at the Manchester United Youth Academy, has confessed to doing.

You might want to cross your legs for this next bit.

Over to you Nicky.

“So many people have got this story wrong over the years. But this is what actually happened,” explains Butt, still laughing at the memory. “I was a young United apprentice at the time and we were all in the dressing room at Carrington after a training session.

“There was a huge tea urn on the treatment table in the middle of the room so I got a hot cup of tea and sat under the table. Peter Schmeichel came out of the shower completely naked and stood with his backside inches from the bed. I thought it would be funny to take the hot teaspoon out of my tea and put it close to his backside to see if he noticed.

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“Unfortunately, at that very moment he suddenly turned around and before I could move my hand, the scalding hot spoon came into contact with the end of his manhood! I never meant to do it but it burnt him on the most painful part imaginable. You’ve never heard a scream like it.

“While the other players were falling about laughing, Peter chased me out of the room and all around the training ground for what felt like hours. Thankfully he never caught me and to be honest I’m still running from him now.”

Ouch! And you thought it was Peter Schmeichel’s nose that used to glow red.