Jump directly to the content

Man United make £100million bid for Alex Hunter

fALSE-9-bANNER

4

Man United have made a sensational £100million bid for Alex Hunter — despite the fact the player doesn’t actually exist.

The club’s executive vice-chairman, Ed Woodward, authorised the offer after seeing the FIFA 17 star’s name all over social media.

Club spokesman, Lee Satchell, said: “It was just like the other deals. Ed burst out of his office shouting ‘Get me Hunter!’ just like he did with Pogba, Zlatan and Mkhitaryan. He even called Mino Raiola to arrange a meeting.

“I tried to explain the situation. I even showed him the FIFA demo but he just made more funds available for the transfer. I think his eyes have gone.”

huntergrab

4

Reports suggest that when the head scout informed Woodward that a deal wasn’t possible, he erupted in a fit of rage.

“He was throwing stuff about, swearing and yelling,” Satchell said. “He even punched Fred the Red in his giant head.

“Then I had a brilliant idea. I got the club shop to print Hunter on the back of a shirt and then got Marcus Rashford to put it on. They’re pretty much the same person, despite what EA Sports say.

“Anyway, Woodward bought it hook, line and sinker. We’ll just stick the £100m back in the account in a few days and say we sold a few more Zlatan shirts in China.

“Everybody wins.”

4

READ MORE FROM OUR FALSE 9 SECTION:


Snapchat banner (2)