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Sunderland desperately attempt to sign beach ball that scored against Liverpool

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Things have got so bad for Sunderland that they are planning a move for the beach ball that *scored* against Liverpool in 2009.

David Moyes’ side are bottom of the league with just two points from nine games and desperately need to strengthen their squad in January.

No team has scored fewer goals than the Black Cats this season, hence why they are looking to re-sign an old club legend.

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The beach ball formed a briefly (very, very briefly) devastating strike partnership with Darren Bent and is arguably the club’s greatest finisher in recent years.

Club spokesman, Lee Satchell, had this to say: “I can confirm that we are looking to re-sign Beachy. He was a real fan favourite here and we’d love to have him back.

“To be honest he’s probably been our best player of the last ten years. We thought about building a statue of him outside the ground and everything.

“For me it goes Kevin Phillips, Niall Quinn then Beachy. Absolute legends.”

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Sunderland aren’t expecting any rival bids for the beach ball come January although Liverpool are long-time admirers of its talents.

And Pepe Reina has recommended it to his current club, Napoli, praising its movement in the box as ‘second to none’.

In completely unrelated news, Jermain Defoe is said to have handed in 17,000 transfer requests in the last few days…

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