Real Madrid have revealed the ingenious tactics they believe will defeat Barcelona in El Clasico this weekend.
Manager Zinedine Zidane plans to name a starting eleven made up entirely of tax collectors.
Several Barca stars have been embroiled in tax controversies over the last two years, including key players Lionel Messi, Neymar and Javier Mascherano.
Madrid feel confident that once Messi and co realise what they’re up against they will immediately flee the stadium or allow Los Blancos victory in exchange for shorter prison sentences.
Zidane’s trusted coach, Leon Sanchez, had this to say: “It’s a risk naming a side made of people that have literally never kicked a ball before in their lives.
“But we’re confident once they get their calculators out and start crunching the numbers, the Barca players will be too busy shredding evidence to worry about the game.
“Once they’re all preoccupied with phone calls to their off-shore accountants, we’ll bring on Cristiano to rack up the goals. Easy three points.”
It remains to be seen whether Barcelona will even bother turning up on Saturday, knowing that their wort nightmare awaits them.
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