Sorry Welbz, but this really isn’t the situation for you.
Vardy’s introduction gives us something different and we sack off the Spain-esque sideways passing in favour of some good old-fashioned long balls.
The Colombians struggle to cope with Vardy’s pace and eventually the Leicester man breaks free and is through on goal.
He slots his finish between David Ospina’s legs (of course) and follows his finish to collect the ball before racing back to the centre-spot.
Shell-shocked, Colombia go to pieces and Carlos Sanchez’s loose pass is intercepted high up the pitch by Dele Alli.
Vardy is in again!
This time he knocks it one side of Ospina and runs around the other — it’s like watching Pele, only much better.
He smashes the ball into the empty net before wheeling away towards the jubilant England fans in the corner.
Wait a sec, he’s clearly got a pre-planned celebration for us…