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How each member of England’s 2018 World Cup squad handle their Russian Standard Vodka

A World Cup in Russia means only one thing

England’s World Cup squad is packed full of elite athletes, all of whom don’t have drink Innocent Smoothies to pretend they are consuming their five a day.

Part of being an elite athlete means you don’t booze to excess. In fact, many of the squad won’t drink alcohol at all.

That being said, here’s how each member of England’s World Cup squad handle their Russian Standard Vodka (we think).

(This is based on nothing but our weird imagination)

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Jordan Pickford

Doesn’t wear a jacket on a night out in December. Uses vodka instead. Prone to dropping the tray of shots every now and then although he’s quick to hand them out to mates.

Nick Pope

Loses everything but still has enough money for cheesy chips on the way home.

Jack Butland

Can put it away but knows his limits because he’s got to be up early for work in the morning.

Feeling the after effects of a heavy night on the vodka

PA:Press Association
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Feeling the after effects of a heavy night on the vodka

Kyle Walker

They make em’ tough in Sheffield, although he prefers Jagerbombs.

Ashley Young

‘Urghhh, this tastes like bird shit’.

Phil Jones

Pulls a pretty weird face after putting away four shots in a row.

Gary Cahill

Happy to drink it straight and warm. No chasers needed when Gary is involved.

‘Who put water in my vodka?’

Rex Features
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‘Who put water in my vodka?’

John Stones

Always annoyingly composed no matter how much vodka he’s had. Does overdo it every now and then.

Danny Rose

Happy to have it with mixer or straight. Very versatile.

Kieran Trippier

His dad has an England flag in his front garden. Doesn’t flinch when presented with a shot.

Harry Maguire

Once rumoured to have downed a whole bottle of vodka on a uni night out.

Trent Alexander-Arnold

Still young and finding his limits.

Jordan Henderson

Quick to get in someone’s face if they don’t drink their shot but often found passing his to the side on the sly.

Eric Dier

Prefers port.

Dele Alli.

Prefers his shot with a sprinkle of nutmeg on top.

Jesse Lingard

Can’t have a drink without putting it on Snapchat or his Instagram story.

Ruben Loftus-Cheek

Can’t work out whether he prefers drinking in boujie spots in south-west London or grittier destinations in south London.

Raheem Sterling

Puts them away for a small guy. Surprisingly good finisher.

Danny Welbeck

Clumsy with the shots. On more than one occasion he’s knocked everything over.

Jamie Vardy

That one mate who’s blackout drunk before they get on the plane.

Harry Kane

Known to steal shots.

Marcus Rashford

Started too quick and now he’s flagging.

There’s always someone who gets too carried away after the vodka hits

PA:Press Association
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There’s always someone who gets too carried away after the vodka hits

Dream Team World Cup has landed

The greatest show on Earth just got that bit more exciting.

That’s because the Dream Team World Cup game is coming ahead of this summer’s tournament.

Dream Team World Cup

Can Messi finally achieve glory internationally?

Getty Images - Getty
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Can Messi finally achieve glory internationally?

The game officially launches on June 1but you can pre-register for the game now.

If you’re an existing Dream Team customer the World Cup game now appears in the app or you can enter here, but if you’re not follow these simple steps:

  • Download the Dream Team app
  • Create an account
  • Click on the World Cup banner below in the app and follow the pre-registration instructions

From Russia with a whole lot of love.

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